Life After 50

August 21, 2018

Well, I've almost caught my mother in age. She was surprised to see me so soon.

 

Gravity and lack of exercise have pulled my breast to a Butternut Squash form; side by side you couldn't tell them apart. Bet you won't eat one of those again. 

I'm now sewing all bras at the shoulders and feel like I'm bringing back shoulder pads. New bras are expensive and I stretch them to quickly.

 

The kids are hearing impaired when you mention "pick up your toys" so I've become Hazel & Alice with the personality of Vlad the Impaler. I'm going to start charging admission to the people on the front lawn.

 

I'm so fat, I can't see my feet. I tripped over a toy fell down the stairs, hurt so bad on every bump down I was clouding up to rain THUNDER on someone, but I have epilepsy so by the time I hit the bottom, I forgot.

 

Some freaky iron deficiency gives me black eyes so my kids call me MOMBIE and my husband eludes police capture.

My vision is so bad my outfits have the look; circus freak/70's electric style. Really I just can't be bothered. I'm glad I'm alive.

 

 

Due to diabetes I have more holes than a sieve and every time I take a drink I expect a leak. Which; by the way; does happen occasionally but thanks to @poise and @alwaysdiscreet are leaks I can plug.

Thanks to radiation I'm my own nightlight.

 

When we go to the grocery store we have to decide if the Stroke/Aortic dissection patient or the Epileptic/diabetes etc. patient will drive. Decisions, decisions.

 

I tried to teach my children to drive. AppleJac did great👍; only a few of my teeth missing. Arrow almost gave me the mastectomy I decided against.

I did notice I really need to clean the dash.

 

My family is on a lot of medication💊to live and we're trying natural remedies which makes all of us bloated, constipated, and "GASSY⛽." 

We'd Fight to be in front of a straight line.

 

However, through it all, we have each other, we laugh ALWAYS at our misfortunes; it makes the climb to success easier; and we remember that someone always has it worse.
Feeling Fantastical

 

 

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